How important is attraction in christian dating
I suspect your friend would say his desire for a “zing-pop” connection is consistent with Song of Solomon.There certainly was chemistry between Solomon and his bride. And as the saying goes, if all you eat is icing, you’ll get sick.That’s not to say there’s something wrong with pursuing a mate you find attractive.But it is to caution against giving looks and “chemistry” pre-eminence in the decision process.But sure, let’s keep praying that God will change every man’s mind about attractiveness, or at least the minds of the ones who don’t think the way women do about attractiveness.
” Q&A, wherein a thirtysomething single female Marry Well-er gets an answer from Candice Watters.
Find a gorgeous woman (or man), marry her (or him), and live happily ever after. But movies always end before the fireworks (what your friend calls “zing-pop”) die down. The longest it can last is three years, and often it’s less.
On average the emotional highs last between eighteen months and three years. If what he’s looking to hold his marriage together for “many, many, many years” is sexual attraction, he’s setting himself up for disappointment. When two believers come together in marriage, they have the potential, when the giddy feelings ebb, to leave what C. Lewis calls the “thrill” phase of romance for the “quieter and more lasting kind of interest …
Especially in an era where you can have sex and not be judged socially without having to marry the other person – even within the church?
How many singles really get removed from churches these days because of fornication?Candice wrote a reply that encapsulates the aspects the I find most infuriating about Christian dating advice: namely, that physical attraction is this sort of either/or thing that you can only count on for a couple of years, and then you plummet directly into companionate love for the rest of your life, never to feel any heat again, but that’s okay because your companionate love is so rich and deep that you’ll never miss being hot for each other except those six times you have sex per year.Okay, that’s my paraphrase, but what other conclusion can one draw from a reply that begins thusly: If only it were that simple! Every marriage moves beyond the new-love, high-octane phase eventually, according to Psychologist Dorothy Tennov.I can’t remember if I’ve discussed this article from Marry Well before, but even if I have, it’s worth a revisit.