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She learned, for example, that she had to overtly express her feelings and needs if she wanted me to be responsive to them, and that I operated best during social events if I had a clear mental image of what to expect beforehand: "They're serving dinner at with dessert to follow, and then we'll probably chit-chat over coffee before we leave.
Decaf, if you're wondering." Armed with new self-awareness and intense determination, I started looking every day for ways to manage the behaviors that had been wreaking havoc on our marriage.
At that time, things were not going well between us.
Best of all, we were able to renew our "bestfriendship," which is what I wanted more than anything.