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Posh because: His parents bought him a flat in London for his sixteenth birthday.They wear: Tight navy hats from Sports Direct, a pastel oversized vintage Ralph Lauren shirt, owns a load of forest green fleeces, wears Nike TNs.You'd think he was from South London but he's actually from a cul-de-sac in Surrey. Nights out involve: Heading to a grime or garage night armed with MD and some ket for afters, will be wielding the gun fingers, smoking Amber Leaf and enjoying deep conversations about his upbringing until 7am. Look out for Fila bum bags and ski jackets that could have been woven out of a kite.Holidays are to: Goes to Croatia for Outlook, will get an Airbnb with a luxe pool, wears garish Hawaiian shirts and snogs girls in crochet bikinis named Lily. Posh because: Used to ride ponies, but only their closest home friends know this secret. soaked Elleese tracksuits that look like they came from the P. a small world." Nights out involve: Armed with a sandwich bag of ket they head to the nearest drum 'n' bass night, heading home at 3am to sink into a thick sofa at their mate Marky's house.Rich because: Went to boarding school and like every other posho can speak fluent French, play the piano and has a swimming pool.

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You might laugh at these melts but if you went to private school, eat smoked salmon or know what Farrow and Ball is – you are one of them.

Holidays are to: Marbella where they hire out a yacht.